Writing used to let me express myself .. mostly the deeper parts of myself, the parts that don't get to be expressed during the course of a day. Sure, everyone wants to hear the good stuff or the "socially acceptable" problems ... but my writing ... that was the safe place that let me venture to say some of the inner thoughts my mind thought or the darker version of what I wanted to say to the lady that has the nerve to give me the once over cause I'm wearing a low cut shirt. My writing was a time my mind did the talking and my fingers did the walking.
I got what I deserved for basically having an online diary as my dad calls this "blogging thing" ... I was foolish to believe that if a person wondered onto MY blog there is the common understanding that these are my thoughts; my feelings; my past issues or my present joys. They aren't yours. Sure feel free to comment good or bad; that I am fine with, but to literally take it to the level some people took it was shocking and absurd. Nonetheless, they got their way, they removed my desire to write about anything .. good or bad.
I know this is a question that can't really be answered but I wonder how many of us have secret blogs with a secret identity that would allow us to freely express our self without the concern of what a family member thinks, or where they can openly express their frustration with a spouse or parent w/o "airing their dirty laundry" for all to see. A place that desires can be written and talked about without people drawing imaginary letter A's on ones clothing. My mom didn't like lots of my posts cause they made me appear sad. My husband didn't like my openness about my past in my blogs cause it appeared I wasn't "over" things. My brother thought many posts were "inappropriate" ... my sister .. lol, she just looked at the pictures. None said, I'm glad you have a place to express yourself. Maybe that is too much to ask, hell if I know.
I wish writing in a public forum didn't have to be so hard. I wish I didn't have to write about what everyone else thinks is appropriate. My writing is yet another avenue I paint a smile over and write what is expected to be written about or I don't write at all. I know some would say, "screw 'em" write what you wanna write, but in the "real" world can one really say and do that??
Wish I could say more but I'll break myself back into blogging slow .. wouldn't want to pull a finger muscle.
