I have been holding back for awhile simply cause I don't want people to get bothered by what I say .. however, I have been keeping my mouth shut A LOT in "real life"too and I fear an explosure may occure if Idon't let some of it out ... so I feel that it would be a better forum to release if it's just my 12 readers that see this verses a vocal break down that I can't "delete" ... LOL.
First of all ... if your husband cheats on you - it's your husband to blame. Not the "other woman" ... sure she has responsibility in the siuatiuon and obviosley shouldn't have gone down that road with a man that wasn't hers but ladies its yours HUSBAND who said I DO. He's the one who vowed to not stray away from you and to love you for better or worse. You offer your husband forgiveness and you spend so much time HATING "the other woman". GET OVER IT and hate the right person. Hate your husband for cheating .. hate yourself for making him feel like he had to or whatever the case may be but for crying out loud start holding the one who promised not to cheat accountable ... not the single woman WHO you never even let speak her side. Ever think that he lied and said he wasn't married ... that it wasn't till AFTER the affair she found out?? Or is it too freakin hard to beleive that HE (the one who cheated) would lie to another woman. I mean if he would lie to you why would he have any issue lying to another woman?? Sheesh. Get a grip and get the hell over yourself.
Oh ... and if your upset over the fact that your spouse talks to people of the other gender .. yet you yourself have multiple DAILY conversations with people of the opposite sex you have no place to stand so sit down, shut up and worry about yourself. I don't care if they are Ex's that they are talking to ... you can't ask someone to do something IF you aren't willing to do the same in return. Period.
This leads me to .. ex's are ex's for a reason. Don't let history repeat itself and don't come crying to me when you do. I'm tired of listening. They don't "need" you when they call .. they "need" to feel important because their current flavor has upset them in some way form or fashion. It's not your problem anymore.
Next ... if your not extremley happy before you decide to have a baby with your significant other ... guess what??? A baby aint going to fix it. Pull your heads out and realize that your want for a baby shouldn't be what drives major decisions. You just think your boyfriend/siginifcant other/etc. is a pain in the ass to deal with ... wait till they are your baby parent and ex and you HAVE to put up with them. No divorce decree will ever shed them from your life. Blended families ... step parenting ... it aint easy on anyone. If your in a relationship that's going to have a blended family .. I beg of you, to think long and hard before you take the hardest leap you'll ever take. If your considering having a baby cause your clocks ticking and your so/so with where your at ... STOP. Don't do things for the wrong reasons .. especially when it includes babies.
I have never claimed to know it all .. okay well I have but not in all seriousness (lol) ... but why doesn't anyone ever listen to me, my adivce or my opinion. Why am I never taken seriously? I was married & divorced. I know how hard leaving the man of your dreams is .. maybe our life together wasn't as long as your lifetime with your spouse but our dreams were just as big, our hopes just as high, our faith that love would get us through just as strong .. etc. It hurts, I know about that ... yet when someone is getting seperated, they chose to listen to people that have never walked the divorce route. They wanna turn to avenues that are feeding them false hope, when what I offer is real. Real sucks, it's not as pretty nor does it have a happy ending but at least I wont paint an inaccurate picture. They say I'm so confident I couldn't know how it feels to be "alone" ... these people (thankfully) didn't see my darkest days, but that's because I handled them, in private where they should be handled. I could show them how you do that but nooooooooo you wanna listen to people who have their heads up thier ass.
My mom always taught me to be true to what I feel & beleive ... be honest & forward. The years have taught me that she is right; however, I have had to learn (mostly the hard way) that there are time and places for opinions and sometimes we should just keep things to ourselves. It's been a goal I've been working on for 2 years now .. keeping things to myself .. "picking my battles" as my husband likes to tell me .. but sometimes I just wanna scream and these are some of the latest subjects I've kept my mouth shut on. So I appreciate your letting me vent. I feel so much better now.
Rum & Coke anyone???
