You hear all the time that parenting is a joy, don't take it for granted, appreciate the moments etc. to which I try really hard to enjoy all the kisses (even though they are a stall tactic for nap/bed), story books that I have read now for the 50th time and every eye roll that I'm given .. wait, what?? I'm supposed to APPRECIATE the EYE ROLLS??
It's easy less hard for me to sit back and "parent" my younger children. I mean it's (for the most part) common sense that one child should not bite another or that you should teach the older sibling to be kind to the younger sibling etc. and while no fool proof "manual" is out there on potty training, the objective is pretty much a given and you just have to try different routes till you complete the task. Simple, sorta - lol.
My tumor trouble starts when it comes to the "teen" that lives under my roof. I used to have a daughter that lived in the room where this "teen" lives .. but she has appearently vacated the premises and is on vacation in Hawaii & left the "teen" to substitute for her because ... MY daughter wouldn't have an attitude that Sunday is family day and that it shouldn't be spent with people other than, well, family. MY daughter wouldn't look at me like I am the meanest person alive because I say no to "all nighters". Nope, MY daughter would FOR SURE NOT look at me as though I asked her to jump off a cliff when I remind her that an hour of "excercise" a day isn't considered walking to wal-greens to buy an energy drink. And under no circumstance would MY daughter be miffed (oh yes, that is a word - I learned it from this "teen" I house) that she has to wear pants that fit (not sweats that hang off her a**) to school at least 3 times a week.
I can understand why parents in this day in age of "teens" have to be strict, mean, hard butts or you could lose all control FAST. This summer while giving my daughter some freedom to grow up a bit I can see just how quickly these 16 year olds think they have the right, permission and ability to think, act & talk like they are 23. I was acused a lot last year of "babying" her .. making her "pay" for decisions I did or made at her age but I realize now (after losing my daughter to her "teen" self) that there is no middle ground in this day and age. Phones, Internet, FB etc. are the tip of the iceberg on all that these "kids" now get to deal with along with the "joys" of high school. I cannot imagine dealing with high-school & FB. Hell I can't handle "FB drama" at 28 (lol) no less at 16.
One struggle we face is how people talk TO HER on HER FB page. I require all people that cuss on her page to be removed, to which she gets annoyed. Her point, she isn't saying it and can't control what they say or how they talk. But really, I don't want to see FU** OFF on my page no less when I got to my daughters page! And speaking of cussing, am I the only parent of a teenager out there that doesn't "allow it cause eventually they will cuss anyway" .... are you kidding me ... I am 29 28 and I still hesitate to cuss in front of my parents and I damn sure don't do it in front of my grand-parents or any other adult that might have the nerve to "tell on me" - lol. I know kids act one way at school when no one is looking but honestly? My daughter seriously must be teased for her "strict" mom cause I don't give a poop - and if you ever see or hear her cuss, knock her out & make her swallow soap!
Needless to say, we are three weeks out from the start of school and we had the "reality check" conversation last night. I explain that she has sat on her a** long enough. I gave her all summer to make the "right" choices for her mind, body & soul to which she didn't so now she is back under my thumb. In the big picture, you know & I know I'm doing the right thing but she looks at me in horror, anger and sadness. I just "ruined" the rest of summer ...
So I say, where is the warm fuzzy feeling when parenting a "teen"? I want the warm & fuzzies darn it!!!